The festive season is upon us
Once again the magic of Christmas has descended on us (and according to the shops it has done since August, a different story) and its time for that long awaited break and let your hair down! I may seem like a bit of a Christmas bah humbug, but really I'm quite festive.
Anyway enough of that, it will soon be time to welcome the new year and all the hassle that comes with it, another set of resolutions to fail at, more of the same from the previous year and of course all the change that will no doubt appear. The great thing is that it doesn't have to be like that at all!
Imagine that we move from 2014 to 2015, its seamless, the celebrations come and go, eventually we recover from the hangover and we throw ourselves back into work. When we get there it's the same old same old, pressures the same or greater, it's still no clearer what you're doing and everyone is talking about resolutions, suddenly the celebration seems so far away.
Change brings serious pressures for us, sometimes we don't understand the purpose of it, or perhaps we don't see the point or maybe we made promises in terms of resolutions and it looks like we won't meet them again!! Firstly don't beat yourself up, we all do it and in some ways we underachieve with our desires, secondly these following three points should form a base to work from:
1. Who says the new year has to begin on the 1st January?
2. If you want to change and resolutions are the vehicle, do them because you want to, not because someone wants to change you (even if they have the best intentions)
3. Don't beat yourself up if you don't make it first time!
New year 1st January; says who? You can decide when your new year starts, normally the enthusiasm of the New Year's Eve party is not the best time to set goals. By all means set you resolutions, but think about when you need to start for real.
Change because you want to not because someone wants you to. Many people try to give something up or make a life change as a result of pressure from others. This approach is flawed simply because someone else wants you to change and if you don't want to then you won't.
People don't succeed in achieving their resolutions, not because they don't have the willpower to do so, but because they didn't really mean them or hadn't considered the impact at the outset.
With all change you should firstly consider the immortal words of Stephen Covey, 'begin with the end in mind'. What exactly are you trying to achieve and for what purpose. Make sure you consider the timeframe and make it realistic. Think about it and write it down.
The think about what you have done to try and do this already. Think about what happened and what you learned from that.
Then think about the options that you have to achieve the resolution. These can be a mad a you like because you can easily dismiss those. When you have them worked out, think about the feasibility of them and if they're not then cross them off.Think about what support you need to get this done and then work out how you can enlist it.
Finally select the options that will give you the best result; seriously consider the realistic timeframe to do them and work out the commitment to them. Make a friend or relative responsible for checking in and seeing how you're doing. Above all don't get grumpy when they do, they're just doing what you asked.
After all this is done, be diligent and work through the options. You can self coach, this approach can help. It doesn't substitute for a coach but it can work. I use it and I gave up smoking overnight 24 years ago and I haven't smoked since. There's lots of things I haven't achieved, I don't beat myself up, I go back and see what I can learn.
Have a great Christmas and new year, just remember change if you want to, you can do it if you want to!