There is no failure only feedback
For those of you that know about neuro linguistic programming (NLP) you will know this as an underpinning presupposition (which is a whole other set of discussions). My reason for writing about such a thing is that I was recently fortunate enough to be asked to moderate a panel at a financial services data conference on the subject of data governance (which is a whole other set of interesting things). Now whether you know about data governance or not is not relevant, as for me this is about my position as moderator, asking the questions and driving the discussion.
It is not the first time that I have undertaken this role, however it is fair to say that I am relatively new to it; I don't particularly have a fear of public speaking but like most of us, there is a certain amount of anxiety involved. Now I know my subject and I'm quite happy to bore people to death with it on a whim, so you need to be reigned in a bit and I'm also quite funny (that's haha not odd, just in case you're wondering) but not a stand up comedian. For those of you that know about data governance you will understand that getting a laugh from it is no mean feat!
So imagine if you will, the time approaches when it's show time, I suffer the normal anxiety level rise and I adopt some mindfulness techniques, particularly breathing, to quell those anxieties; suddenly your name is mentioned, I should be paying attention I thought, and your time in the limelight has arrived. There are a number of things that can happen, run (good old fight or flight), throw up (never that popular and limits future invites) or keep cool and calm and get on with it. I of course chose the latter. The strange thing is that the thought that came to me as I approached the imposing stage was a friend of mine a long time ago in the Army, who was scheduled to do a presentation, he walked onto the stage and fainted! He was of course duly replaced by some poor unfortunate soul who had had no preparation. I later learned that he had faked fainting to avoid presenting. Now this information eventually leaks and when it does people either laugh or scowl. Now I'm the sort of person that laughs, I found it funny that someone had the nerve to do that and get away with it, although I made a mental note to be wary if we were ever to present at the same event.
While all of this is pertinent to my life and I hope a little amusing for you, what does it have to do with failure or feedback? Well now, after these events the feedback comes in a number of ways, people ask how did it go, or say that was a great panel or ignore you completely! Now it's fair to say that I received what I would class as a mixture of these which I found interesting.
Personally I thought it went well, I was relaxed, coherent and indeed a little funny; the panel were controversial, informative and interesting all of which I thought made a successful panel. Therefore the local feedback was good. However, there were some scowlers in the audience who subsequently ignored us which was mildly amusing and begs the question what stops you from doing it. It also implied a level of failure on our part to entertain the audience. Some of the panel members were a little taken aback expecting the plaudits from the assembled throng and so to them it was at least partially a failure.
Me I was engaged, happy with my performance and relieved it went well; I was also intrigued about this so I asked a couple of them over lunch, how they thought it had gone and what the reason might be for their 'failure' vibe. Each one said performance was great doing what a moderator does, the panel however didn't provide anything new! As we discussed it, I mentioned that we didn't make the questions up, they were provided and the time limited so the scope for diversion was little. However there is in this huge range of topic many areas that interlink and can be complementary. I suggested that they might wish to feedback to the organisers what they thought and suggest some topics and angles that they might like to see.
So for me any feedback was relevant, the spectre of failure had receded once more and my belief in my ability and knowledge, although never fully dimmed, was burning bright once more. The message that I get out through this blog, you should never fear feedback, if it's negative and about failure, then turn it into positive, don't let those that wish to control you do so!